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I want to find the One, the special relationship that will last many years and multiply happiness. But I’m bad at small talk, and I jump too fast to intellectual conversations, making it awkward. I wanted to find the perfect match, so I wasn’t going to be an amateur about it.

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Step back and ask yourself the following questions, Trespicio suggests: Do I have fun with him? Does he seem genuinely interested in what you have to say? These are likely signs he's in it for real, so enjoy being with him and relax about making things "official." "Men who are wary of commitment want to feel like You don't have to stay in the dark forever, though.

If it's been about six months and he hasn't dropped one hint about where he sees this going, casually speak up, says Jennifer Kelman, a licensed social worker and relationship expert at

Perhaps a better strategy would hinge upon Mark Granovetter’s research.

He argues that 2nd degree connections are the most useful: relationships and jobs are found through them. Online dating does little in the way of encouraging you to put effort into a relationship.

Most of the first dates led to nothing: we didn’t have much in common. As a founder, I stubbornly believe that everything is within my power to fix, and that something could have been done differently to force the decision in my favor. That was my best first date on more than 150, ironically the only one that hadn’t been part of my rigid routine. On our 5th date, she said she wasn’t ready for a relationship. Having more matches increased my odds of finding someone interesting, but it also became an addiction.

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